To Zoe

Even after a month, this hurts to write.

In August 2016 we got the news that our beagle-mix, Zoe, had Lymphoma and was given 6-9months to live. We all made an extra effort to give her the best last few months she could have, while opting to put her through extensive Chemo treatments.

Zoe,

Ever since we first got you as a pup, you were our sister.

We dressed you up on many occasions…

And when we found out you were sick, we babied you a little extra.

You took a trip with us to LBI in September to see the beach for the first time.

…even though it was a little windy, you loved smelling the salty air.

You loved the Lighthouse and Sunset Park

We gave you baths in daddy’s tub…

Just for you to get dirty again.

You loved your brother, Ludo.

You two would watch out for each other.

 

And you loved food.

…you REALLY loved food.

 

As the leaves began to change, we took you to Boundary Creek Park for a family walk.

You met some new friends along the way…

And after some beaver hunting, I could tell you were getting bored.

We went on many rides, some to the park, some to the bank, and some just ‘cuz.

You loved the breeze in your ears.

 

You loved rides to Smithville, where you always thought if you climbed up each houses’ stairs, we would be home.

You were interested in any other living creature…

even if they weren’t real.

You liked when we took you to Philly for the day- so many new smells!

 

You had “good days” and “bad days”. On your bad days, you slept all day.

 

You slept through Halloween, it was a “bad day”.

And when you didn’t want turkey on Thanksgiving, we knew you weren’t feeling too well.

A few weeks later, we went to Amico Island so you could feel your feet in the sand and water one last time.

You loved your “Pat”

He left a sign that we were here each trip we all took together.

 

 

You even saw the first and last snow fall of 2016!

After an episode Friday, be that her chest cavity was progressively filling back up with fluids, we took her to North Star in Robbinsville to spend the night.  We picked her up Saturday, but were told her chest was already filling again, less than 12 hours later.  After a long night, she was just excited to see us again and take another ride home!

Zoe became very tired and her breathing was more stressed. It was important for her to relax and stay comfortable. We knew the end was near when she stopped eating all together.

Sunday, her tail wagged when she heard that “PAT!” was coming over and we were going for a ride to Strawbridge Lake. Although she didn’t have energy to walk much, she stayed on the ground and took in some warmer fresh air, while I made sure she looked beautiful in her little red sweater.

On Tuesday, December 20th, 4 months after her diagnosis, we lost our Zoe Bella Zausner on our way to what we knew might be her final doctor’s visit. She was tired of fighting, and finally let go in my mom’s arms after a few minutes of fresh air out the window.

That Thursday, my mom and I took a trip to cremate her and say goodbye one last time.

I took a little piece of her with me to Amico Island Park for one last sunset on the beach with her.

 

This Christmas was extra hard on all of us, but you’ll always be family.

And even though we’ll miss dressing you up…

 

Sunbathing…

Walks in the woods

Playing with your brother

Your kisses

And most of all, that smile

We know you’re in a better place.

 

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”